you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
