the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize