a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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