guys are not supposed to queef...right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
