Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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