She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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