Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
