So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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