can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
