Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
