I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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