WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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