I wish i was in the wii world.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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