Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
