we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
