i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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