in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
