u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
