remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize