is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
