Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
