Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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