Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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