Barsexuality is the new black.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
