Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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