Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
