Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize