I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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