haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
