It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Fuck appropriateness.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
