He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
