What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
