I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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