It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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