Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
