She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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