We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
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well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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