new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
