I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Randomize
