ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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