I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Drake has all the answers
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
