That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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