If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
