From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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