i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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