you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize