i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
