I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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