It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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