I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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