please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
