people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
