Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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