We named our party play list daddy issues
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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