what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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