Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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