you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
