everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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