I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
