So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
